Ranking The Truman Sports Complex Parking Lots By Tailgating Prowess: Royals Edition

11. Lot L

“Lot Hell.” It’s literally a quarter of a mile from the stadium. You have to climb up a hill to get to the stadium, which also requires you to navigate down the hill afterwards. I’ve timed the walk. It’s 15 minutes from lot to gate. After five Tank 7s, a few auxiliary Miller Lites, four hot dogs and a pull or three from a bottle of Evan Williams, a 15-minute walk is hell. Hence the nickname.

Party level: A backyard cookout with too much booze and not enough food.

10. Lot N

I once got lost in Lot N before a Royals/Brewers game in 2007. I was scared. You never want to find yourself here. The trek to the stadium might as well be a 19th century trail ride, minus dysentery. Featuring a large and economically diverse crowd, Lot N can be a great time, but I’ve seen this place devolve from looking like a Florida-Georgia Line music video to the world’s largest bum fight in a matter of minutes. Plenty of lowered Chevy S-10s to be seen here.

Party level: Gathering of the Juggalos.

9. Lot M

The Lot M parking pass is a golden ticket into the hoity toity world of Kansas City’s upper crust. Leave the beer pong table at home, bring the Franzia. Imagine strolling into work Monday morning armed with a story about you making Phil Witt slap the bag.

Party level: Fancy brunch.

8. Lot B

Lot B is too small for anything remotely interesting to ever happen there. I’m at a loss. Should probably turn this thing into a Steak ‘n Shake. That’s actually a really good idea.

Party level: Edward Jones Dome.

7. Lot H

I’ve never really seen anything worth seeing come from Lot H. It’s where my dad’s parking passes are, so I’m always on my best behavior here. I’m assuming this is just where all the dads park.

Party level: Corporate happy hour.

6. Lot F

Lot F stands for “you done F**ked up.” How you got to be this far from the stadium leaves you with just one option: get inappropriately loaded and hope you make it into the game on time.

Party level: Weird barn party.

5. Lot D

See above, add Eastern Jackson County crowd to the mix.

Party level: Abandoned barn party.

4. Lot J

Lot J, man. There’s a certain mystique to it, you know? You can see into the stadium and watch Crown Vision. If there was ever an opportunity for you to bring a chaise lounge to a tailgate and get away with it, this is it.

Party level: O’Dowd’s at midnight.

3. Lot C

Party level: Mitch-a-palooza.

2. Lot A

The rowdiest of all the reserved parking. There’s a certain touch of class that comes with tailgating in Lot A. You know that family from Blue Springs who goes to Lotawana every weekend to get hammered? That’s Lot A.

Party level: Party Cove.

1. Lot G

I’m a Lot G’er for life, a G-man. Just a bunch of bag slappin’, beer guzzlin’, bottle pullin’, party bussin’ sons-a-guns. Lot G is the definitive tailgating lot at the Sports Complex. The only thing more prominent than the debaucherous, blue-clad booze hounds in Lot G are the mothers hurrying their children through Lot G. With Arrowhead looming next to you, there’s no excuse not to go all out.

Party level: Delta Tau Chi rush party.

Kansas City Is St. Louis’s Little Brother

Kansas City is St. Louis’s little brother. It’s true. Hate to say it, but it’s true. St. Louis is in fact an older city than Kansas City. It was founded before America was even a country by some French guys (Their names were literally Pierre and Auguste). Kansas City was later founded in the mid-19th century and was first settled by Mormons and Baptist missionaries (¯\_(ツ)_/¯). If I had to choose between being founded by the French or Mormons, I’d probably kill myself. So neither KC nor STL has any sort of high ground in that regard.

St. Louis at one point in time was one of the four largest cities in America, but that was when there were pretty much just four cities in America. St. Louis has a better baseball team than Kansas City. By that standard, St. Louis is KC’s big brother.

Much like brothers, we do share common bonds. We love sports, we share borders with political disaster states, we would gladly take a bullet for Gary Pinkel, we all know someone with a lake house, we love smoked meats (although we do it much better over here).

But don’t think for one minute that the Western side of Missouri has any sort of inferiority complex towards St. Louis in anything other than baseball. Unlike our Eastern counterparts, Kansas City’s national perception and identity are not based on our baseball team’s performance.

St. Louis can boast about the 11 World Series championships and two Hardees that occupy Busch Stadium, but outside of that, I’m not sure what else they bring to the table.

“BUT HOCKEY! THE BLUES! #LGB”

St. Louis and Kansas City are tied in all-time Stanley Cup championships (zero). Also, ever heard of the Kansas City Blades? 1992 IHL Turner Cup champions? Checkmate.

“We have the best pizza.”

A hot saltine cracker topped with plastic cheese and processed meat barely qualifies as food, let alone pizza. Also, the best St. Louis style pie resides in Kansas City at Waldo Pizza (Choice Cut with garlic ranch on the side. Shut it down). I almost ate enough Imo’s buffet pizza in Columbia to trick myself into thinking it was adequate sustenance, but most of the time I was too hungover to know better.

Same goes for toasted ravioli. Just because some chef got drunk and accidentally dropped some ravioli into a deep fryer doesn’t make you some sort of culinary Mecca. If your city’s signature dish is available in the frozen food aisle, I’d suggest you go back to the drawing board.

Don’t get me started on barbeque.

“We have the best fans in baseball.”

@BestFansStLouis

“Anheuser Busch is America’s greatest brewery.”

Got me there. The AB brewery tour is a must-do if you’re ever in St. Louis for some reason. It’s a beautiful facility. But once Boulevard starts putting Tank 7 in American flag cans, I’ll have a better argument here. As a Lake of the Ozarks/day drinking/leisure watercraft enthusiast, I have to tame my remarks in reference to the Great American Lager. Point to you, Big Brother. Just get that advertising under control.

budweiser_bottle_r_3284651b

“St. Louis is a bigger city than Kansas City.”

Let me stop you right there. Is St. Louis County bigger than KC? Yes. Does anyone live in the actual city of St. Louis anymore? Hell no. St. Louis’s population data will quite clearly show that…you know what? Why don’t I go with a visual representation of St. Louis’s population decline in the last 30 years?

And now let’s look at Kansas City:

St. Louis can continue claiming to be Kansas City’s big brother. The harsh truth of the matter is that KC is in fact St. Louis’s little brother. It’s the little brother with the hotter girlfriend, better job, more friends, great hair, bigger house and more expensive car.

tumblr_mbnmb1gBNO1rf9wg7o1_500

So keep claiming superiority over us and trying to compare yourself to Chicago. We’ll be over here laughing at you.

Go Royals.

Friday Mail-It-In: For The People

You animals are insatiable. Everyday, I just get email after email from one of you begging me to come back. I love it. Ol’ Bri Guy has been a bit busy lately, ya know, making sure my bank account doesn’t overdraft on a late night McDouble run. Apologies for the time off.

So, I’ll answer your mail. There’s a ton. This is a month’s worth of your unanswered questions, so I hope you’re in this one for the long haul.

Bri Guy,

Relatively recent postgrad here, reading your stuff has helped a lot in navigating these foreign waters.

Few weeks ago, one of my best friends had a small shindig for his birthday limited to pretty much just his family. Just had to ask, once and for all, whats the policy on dudes getting other dudes gifts? Felt kinda of like a dumbass when I didn’t bring anything, I just assumed standard male protocol, i.e. pick up the tab next time were at dinner, the bar, etc. Of course my buddy understood that too, but still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty when I saw a table with some gifts on it. Whats the play next time something like this happens, and under what pretexts is it acceptable for one dude to give another dude a gift? (Also any general recommendations?)

You the man,

Daily Grind

You know the old saying “Never show up empty handed?” That’s a good quote. Never, EVER show up to someone else’s party empty handed. You get your ass to a liquor store or some sort of Things Remembered knockoff store and buy your friend a GD gift. But I understand your confusion. Man-on-man gifting is a tough concept to tackle. There’s an easy solution to this though, and it’s alcohol. A big case of beer, a premium 12-pack or a bottle of high end liquor for any occasion is a classy gift. There’s a reason they sell Jack Daniels in gift bundles around the holidays. It’s because it’s the adult equivalent of getting an awesome Hot Wheels track set. The more expensive the liquor, the cooler the present. A bottle of Macallan 15 might as well be a brand new N64 game to me.

***

Hey Bri,

Long-time, first-time here. One of my favorite articles were your binge-watching guides to certain shows. I actually began watching New Girl and, as a result, I turned into a big fan of the show.

This got me thinking, with the ending of a show that I know you and I both love, I thought it could be good to maybe try doing a binge-watching guide to the highly underrated show Justified. It’s available on Amazon Prime and I’m trying to get my friends to start watching it. Could you maybe try doing a watered down version?

Keep it classy – Wes

I’ve actually never gotten into Justified and I feel really shitty about it. It’s on my list, though.

***

B-Ri,

What’s going on, hoss? I recently found myself also unemployed and have been enjoying the experience so far. Between sending out rezzies and networking with randos, there is something refreshing about having some time off after years of school and sitting in the cube. Since we’re riding the between-job-bus together, I was wondering, what are some power moves we can be pulling during unemployment?

Funemployed

Power moves and unemployment go together as well as toothpaste and orange juice, so this is a tall order. I’ll try anyway…

1. Never admit to being unemployed. You’re a freelance consultant now.
2. If someone asks you where your money is coming from, just tell them you’ve gotten into day trading and have not asked your parents for money.
3. Nap everywhere.
4. List your salary requirements in parenthesis next to your name on your resume.
5. Only apply for jobs on The Ladders.

***

I can’t remember if you’ve ever shared the famous McGannon hangover cure, but in case you haven’t, I need to know what a reformed degenerate like you does to soothe the pain of the deathly postgrad hangover.

I have a specific cure for every type of hangover, but those are family secrets. My standard hangover cure is a multi-layered, complex process that is specifically designed for Brian McGannon, by Brian McGannon:

-Four Advil and a full glass of water before falling asleep (optional)
-Upon waking up, I brush my teeth and go number one. Another glass of water.
-Fall back asleep for two hours.
-Go number two. Really get it all out.
-Shower. Extra hot, then go super cold.
-One 32 oz Gatorade. Four more Advil.
-Fast food of your choice. No overly spicy foods.
-Nap in the afternoon after another number two.

***

I know you’re a Mad Men guy, B-Mac. Who are your top 5 characters, what’s the best episode and what do you think happens in the final episode?

1. Roger Sterling, 2. Don Draper, 3. Peggy, 4. Bert Cooper, 5. Stan Rizzo. “Shut The Door. Have A Seat.” Final episode flashes forward into the 1980s at some point, that’s really all I can guess right now. No idea where they’re gonna go with this.

***

THIS WEEK IN PONTOON BOATS:

Guy restores 2001 20-foot Bennington to its former glory.

That’s it for this week. If you’ve got a question for next week, shoot it here: mcgannonbrian@gmail.com.

The Friday Mail-It-In: How To Go To Vegas For Work

Hello, friends. Let’s wrap up the best week of the year with some mail. Shockingly, no Masters questions or really any sports questions for that matter. What the hell is wrong with you people?

Big Mac,

I work for a small company as a marketing representative, which pretty much translates to “paid intern.” But I’ve been more or less promised that I’m being groomed for a sales position (which starts at more than double the salary of what I make now, plus 2% commission and benefits). Because I’ve been promised the moon and the stars, this year I’ve been voluntold to attend a huge business expo in Vegas with my company. I probably sound like an asshole for complaining about going to Vegas on the company dime, but going with a group of people in their 50’s on business isn’t exactly what I dreamed of. Being from the East Coast, I haven’t been to Vegas since I was 3 and won’t go back again for the foreseeable future. My question is, should I be a responsible adult and keep it strictly business, or should I Lone Wolf it for a night? If I do venture out on my own, any suggestions on a plan of action? Keep in mind this trip has plenty of down time that will probably otherwise be spent in my hotel room watching Netflix.

Best Wishes, Unproductive Behavior

My God. Representative is a worse title than Coordinator. Your company trusts you so little that you are literally only authorized to represent them and not coordinate anything, but it’s good that you’re climbing the ladder. Gotta start somewhere.

On to Vegas. A lot of downtime and some per diem in Vegas sounds like every young professional’s wet dream. For me, it sounds a horrible fit of sleep paralysis. I’d try to turn that $50 daily allowance into next month’s car payment and then end up draining my savings account. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never been to Vegas. I don’t think I could handle it, but it sits in the back of my mind, tempting me. Work trips to Vegas, especially as someone who’s being groomed for a promotion, are for work. Yeah, you’ll have some downtime, but that doesn’t mean you need to be hitting the tables and Wet Republic from 5pm-3am every night. The last thing you want is showing up to breakfast with glitter in your hair and a bit of white residue on your face.

Go see some shows, hit up downtown, stay out of ultra lounges, go to happy hour with your bosses and only go to casinos before midnight. This is the most “dad” response to any question I’ve ever gotten, but it’s the hard truth.

***

Bri Guy,

Just moved to my second post grad city from south to across our great country. I crushed the first on a small budget and became a staple at all company outings and big inter office happy hour guy. Finding it a little tough to fit in at the new office and seem to be a fish out of water in the new city. Any advice on how to get back to the same status and feel more comfortable in the new city?

Trey

Making new friends is my nightmare. I was lucky enough moving to Austin from Kansas City to have a good network of former college friends. All I can tell you is the most stock response to this question: You gotta put yourself out there. Be (or at least pretend to be) interested in people. See if your alma mater has a young alumni association in the city. Most of the time they suck, but sometimes they’re an awesome way to meet like-minded young people who just want to get loaded and “network.”

For God’s sake, don’t be the guy who goes to bars alone by himself and try to make friends that way. Ease yourself into it. Don’t force it. Start by grabbing lunch with coworkers you like. Join kickball/softball/soccer/sand volleyball leagues. Do anything you can. It’s hard, but if you’re personable, you can pull it off.

Uncle Tony believes in you.

***

Hey Y2Bri,

To get right into it, I need your advice. I am 24, graduated with a bachelor’s degree in biology and have been working at a multinational pharma company manufacturing center in the Quality Control department. Like at most pharmaceutical industry jobs, I make very good money. I also generally like the work I do. It’s mostly basic lab work but it isn’t super difficult and I have a lot of independence on organization of my work day. At this point you are probably wondering what the hell I need help with. The issue is that I work 3rd shift, 10 pm – 8 am four days a week, and it sucks. I’ve been on the shift for a little over a year now and I’m starting to really hate it, as you would assume. The days I work really aren’t bad, its more the days off when I try to be a normal person and interact with friends and family. Tired, exhausted, and worn out, don’t begin to describe how I’m beginning to feel all the time now.

I have begun to passively look for other jobs but obviously none pay quite as well as my current position. This isn’t the end of the world but it does make it a little harder to switch. I have 6 months of savings so I wouldn’t be in huge trouble with less pay, for the short term at least. The positions I’m looking at are not at huge corporations because my current position has also soured me somewhat on the red tape and waste of large companies. The crux of the issue is whether or not I should leave this position, there is still the possibility that a position not on 3rd will open up at my current company. Unfortunately this feels like more and more of a pipe dream, since there has only been two such opportunities since I started at this position. I am dreading working and trying to look for a job at the same time though.

TL;DR – Should I switch from a high paying job with 3rd shift hours to a lower paying one that would be 9-5, or should I try and stick it out with the 3rd shift until a better position opens up at my current company?

This is my most desperate hour. Help me, Bri-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

Ed

Ed, thanks for your email, but just a little tip for the future. This is the Friday Mail-It-In, not the Friday Med School Dissertation. Less is more, good buddy. Let’s tackle this beast anyway.

You’re young. I get that. You are FOMO’ing your brains out on the graveyard shift because while you’re at work, your friends are all at happy hour and they’re at work while you’re sleeping. At 24, “losing yourself” at work isn’t the worst thing in the world. You’re paying your dues and playing the long game. Stick it out, wait for that better shift to open up. If you ask for a better shift, you might look like a discontent employee. What happens to discontent employees? They get fired nine times out of 10. If you’re still working graveyards in a year, then start looking to move on. For now, the money’s good. When your sanity starts to go, that’s when you should make a change.

***

I hate my boss. Not the head of the company boss but my immediate manager at this small company. He is the definition of everything you are not supposed to be as a manager. It has impacted my work directly because when I do well and bust my ass he takes all the credit that he “got the work out of me”. How do I get past that and see the bigger picture and not just see the one guy driving my career to a painful death?

I miss you.

PGDrew

Finding a good boss is rare. It’s really, really rare. By far, the most egregious offense a boss can make (outside of telling an intern “suck me, beautiful”) is taking credit for their employees’ hard work. When I was working in the thankless industry of minor league sports, our organization took home a ton of awards at the league meetings in Vegas. I wasn’t invited and I was bitter about it. No more than five minutes after the award presentations were over, I got an email from my boss thanking me for all my hard work and how he couldn’t have done it without me. It’s little shit like that that made me pledge my undying loyalty to him. More managers should do that. All we’re looking for is a little cookie. Some damn recognition. That’s all.

Anyway, it sucks that your manager is taking all of the credit for your hard work. The sad fact is that it happens and it happens a lot when you’re starting your career. The best advice I can give you is to work hard even when no one’s paying attention. Eventually, they’ll notice.

***

Hey Bri Guy,

I’m going for back to back week questions.

Onto my Q for this week. Saturday I am heading down with the girlfriend to Orlando for the week. Her dad had an extra week of a timeshare and flipped it over to us. We plan on going to Disney World and Universal Studios. I haven’t been to either before and I’m looking forward to it, especially the Harry Potter World. I’ve been told that even people who don’t like HP still love the park. If you have been down there to Orlando before, do you have any recommendations for other things to do? I recall how you are pro Chicken Parm and anti Lasagna, know any good Italian joints down there? A good restaurant would be at the top of my priorities.

Pepto Bismol

I know nothing about Orlando other than Splash Mountain is a triumph of modern engineering and going to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. in Downtown Disney isn’t as fun as it sounds.

Sorry, buddy. Enjoy yourself.

***

Bri,

Glad to see that the Mailbag will live on. Few things in baseball can set the tone for an at bat quite like a solid walk up song. So, If you were an MLB player, what would your walk up song be?

Personally, I’d have to go with the horn section from Outkast’s “SpottieOttieDopaliscious” For Reference: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXmqauitBkM).

Thoughts?

This is the easiest question of the week. Val Venis’s WWF Attitude Era entrance song:

I’d wear the towel and everything, pace of play rules be damned.

“You might as well call me the big swinger, because The Big Bribowski’s balls are always juiced!”

Then I’d get a four-seamer to the face and my career would be over. Damn. The baseball dick joke promo opportunities would be endless.

***

Hi Brian,

I saw Fleetwood Mac last week and I have “Rhiannon” stuck in my head, the chorus of which somehow became Mc-Gaaaaaaaah-nuuuuun. I may or may not have gotten into the company happy hour beer an hour and a day early.

ANYway, my question for you: Stevie Nicks or Christine McVie? Nicks gets way more press and pop culture references, but to me, but McVie seems to have aged WAY better, in terms of vocals, personality, and looks.

Keep on keepin’ on,

PC_LoadLetter

True story: my parents considered naming me “Rhiannon McGannon” if I was a girl, but they recently started denying it. That would have been a disaster.

I was raised on Fleetwood Mac. My whole family eats that shit up. Fleetwood Mac, the Rat Pack, late-80s adult contemporary pop (Howard Jones, Air Supply, Eric Carmen, white people music), grocery store booze runs and sports. That’s what gets the McGannon family motor running, so asking me to choose between Stevie and Christine is like asking me to choose between “Rumors” and “Tusk.”

Stevie Nicks’s voice is like a long pull of good whiskey after a long day, while Christine’s is like a geisha hand feeding you chocolate pudding in a bubble bath. Both have their strengths.

As far as looks, advantage: Christine. She’s aged well. Meanwhile, Stevie Nicks looks exactly like you would think someone who’s done as much cocaine as Stevie Nicks to look like at 66. As an artist (and I stress the word “artist”), though, Stevie wins in a…a…dammit, she wins in a landslide. Was really trying to avoid that.

That’s it for this week. Thanks for all the questions. If you’ve got more for me, I’ll answer anything: mcgannonbrian@gmail.com.

The Friday Mail-It-In: When Should I Move In With My Girlfriend?

Hello, friends. The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I am still very much alive and well. Consider this my triumphant return to the blog game. Much like when Chris Jericho left the WCW for the Attitude Era, consider this Y2Bri. A new beginning. I’m freelancing and spreading my internet seed anywhere I can for the time being.

However, nothing changes.

It’s Friday. It’s time to answer some GD mail. If you’ve got any questions for me, hit me up at mcgannonbrian (at) gmail (dot) com.

Hey Bri,

I hope you are doing good since you left. As you can probably see, you are missed. On your word press,are you planning on doing a mailbag? It was my favorite thing you did cause it was the most interactive that we could be with the man behind the curtain in my opinion.

If you still are doing it, here is my Q:

I’m in my late twenties (fuck that’s my first time saying that) and have a solid job with good pay. My girl and i have been dating for about 5 months and have talked about moving in together in another 5-6 months when our respective leases are up. She is my age and has a solid job as well, even makes more money than me.

I can easily see marrying her, but i fully realize that i might be still in the”honeymoon” of the relationship still. I’ve lived with other girls in the past, but i want your two cents on when you think it’s a good time to move in with your girl/boy friend. What are your thoughts?

Stay strong brother.

Pepto Bismol

Thanks for the support, Pepto.

I moved in with the gf after about seven months of dating. I wanted to wait a bit longer, but the timing was right. My lease was up in late August and hers was up in mid-December. My choices were to either sign another lease and wait another year and a half to move in together, sublease an apartment and move twice within a matter of months (fuck. that.) or just straight up move in and get it rolling. I ended up moving in with her because I felt like our relationship was ready for it and we were both (at that point in time) well off financially. We lived in her tiny (700 sq. feet. never again) apartment for three months and it was pure bliss for the most part. The size of the apartment was our biggest issue. We called it “the dungeon” because the ceilings were about 12-feet high and there was probably more square footage on the walls than on the floor.

The number one rule of moving in with your SO: It should NOT be a financial decision. Will you save a lot of money? Absolutely. You will be living like dukes and duchesses. However, don’t think that sharing a tiny, one-bedroom apartment is the best bet. You gotta go for the space. If you have to fork over an extra couple hundred a month for a few extra square feet, do it.

As for when the best time is, it’s 100% a judgement call. I can say that by reading between the lines, it sounds like your leases line up pretty conveniently and both of you will be looking for a place around the same time. You said you can see yourself marrying her. I think the question has already answered itself.

I’m not a timeline guy. If you want to move in together, move in together. It seems like you’ve got a good girl on your hands. However, if one of you has any doubt, maybe hold off. Saving $300 bucks a month on rent isn’t worth sacrificing your happiness. Gotta make sure you’re both ready for that type of commitment, because after moving in together, you are putting yourself in marriage’s catbird seat. You’re on the fast track once you move in together.

Just be warned, when you live with someone, you start to see a completely different side of your significant other. You will be shitting with the door open, farting in front of one another, eating a bag of Lays wavies by the handful in front of one another. The romance is still there, but you are now cohabitants, not just SOs.

I guess I still have to give you an answer though, so here goes. Anyone who moves in with their significant other after less than six months of dating is a crazy person. You’re in the clear.

How is unemployment treating you? Walk us through your typical day. Do you shower? I didn’t shower when I was unemployed. Like, ever.

Michelle

PS: I miss you.

Jesus. You are forcing me to finally talk about how pathetic my days have become. I think I’m taking it well (insert CC footage of me walking around my condo in a robe, smoking a cigarette at 3am). Here’s what my days are looking like:

11am: Wake up. Delete seven 1-800-FLOWERS emails. Go back to bed.
12pm: Finally roll out of bed. Shower…sometimes.
1pm: Eat lunch/breakfast (I wish I could call it brunch, but last time I checked, entire Red Baron pizzas don’t qualify as brunch food).
2pm: Finally begin looking for jobs.
2:15pm: Smoke cigarette in celebration of being productive.
2:30pm: Coffee. Tweak LinkedIn profile (read: How drunk do I really look in my profile picture?)
3pm-6pm: Finally hunker down and send my resume to 17 people.
6pm: DVR’d episode of Jeopardy!
7pm: Eat dinner, which is generally a meal I prepare for myself and the girlfriend. Been wearing out my crock pot. Polish off half empty bottle of Barefoot merlot.
8pm: Attempt to leave house. Don’t.
8:30pm: Attempt to exercise. Don’t.
9pm-1am: Netflix/Hulu Plus binge sesh. Been crushing Bloodline, Last Man on Earth and Dexter like it’s my job.
2am-4am: Berate German college students on XBox Live.
4am: Finally succumb to sleep.

I’d say that’s par for the course for most unemployed people.

That’s it for this week. Again if you’ve got questions for me, I’ll answer ’em. It can be anything: mcgannonbrian@gmail.com.

Where I Went

It doesn’t matter where I went. All you need to know is I’m still here. I didn’t die.

I’ll be right here if you still give a hot crap about what I have to say. 2-3 pieces a week. Maybe sometimes more, maybe sometimes less. Depends on whether I actually like you people anymore (spoiler: I do. I am going to die without internet attention. It is my lifeblood). All I can tell you is that this guy loves him some internet writing and I’ll be damned if I’m going to hang it up anytime soon. This may look like a blog, but I can guarantee you it won’t be awful. It’s a goddamn website. Blogs are for amateurs.

I make internet for the American working man, because that’s who I am and that’s who I care about.